I had hoped to have a clear picture of the playoffs to lay out for the league with one week left in the regular season but holy bagfuls of quince shit Batman.
As it stands:
1) MDW 8-4 (2-3 in the West) holds total pts tie-breaker over Qonies (1st round bye)
2) Membrillos 7-5 (1st round bye)
3) Catch 6-6 (3-2 in the South wins tie-breaker over Bombers and Turds by division record) vs 6) Pimps 7-5
4) Qonies 8-4 vs 5) Polaq 7-5 (wins HTH tie breaker over Pimps)
In the consolation bracket:
7) NOJOQ 6-6 (total pts tie breaker over Turds) (1st round bye)
8 ) Turds 6-6 (HTH tie breaker over Bombers) (1st round bye)
9) Bombers 6-6 vs 12) Enemy 3-9
10) Quahogs 4-8 (HTH over Sooms) vs 11) Sooms 4-8
What can happen?
Almost anything. The #1 seed is narrowed down to MDW, Qonies, Polaq or Membrillos. Pimps cannot win the West. Polaq wins the West in the event of a 4 way tie at 8-5 and would be the #1 seed if Membrillos loses. If Polaq wins the West and Membrillos wins next week Membrillos will be the #1 seed at 8-5 with a total pts tie breaker over Polaq. Of course if MDW and Qonies win they would be 9-4 and whoever won the total points battle (MDW currently shows a lead of 18.90 pts) would be the #1 seed. Even though MDW and Qonies are tied for the best record and are 1-2 in total points scored, both must win in order to capture the division title. If either loses the other captures the division with a win. If they both lose, Polaq is the division winner. Also, if MDW AND Qonies lose, with the entire division at 8-5, all of the wild cards come from the West.
In the North, Membrillos wins the division and a 1st round bye as either the 1st or 2nd seed with a win. He also wins the division with a loss unless NOJOQ outscores him by like 100 (I ignore this possibility from here out). With a loss, Membrillos still wins the #2 seed and a 1st round bye IF the winner of the South is Turds, but falls to the #3 seed with a loss if the South winner is Catch or Bombers. How can NOJOQ make the playoffs outside of a Membrillos loss and a historic scoring week? At 7-6, NOJOQ wins Tie Breakers with Pimps and Polaq (HTH) and likely over Turds (because of a big pts lead). Since we could have 7 different 7-6 teams and possibly 6 at once….. I won’t be examining ALL possible outcomes…..(even though Membrillos likely would be the division winner even at 7-6)…..or will I?
If Polaq and Pimps end up 7-6 then Polaq would be compared out of division ahead of Pimps by HTH tie breaker for the 1st of 2 available wild cards. Of course either could be alone at 7-6 in the West in which case there would only be 1 wild card spot for a 7-6 non-division winner.
NOJOQ at 7-6 would be the 1st compared from the North for a wild card.
Then there is the damn South. At least the division winner is guaranteed to be 7-6.
The Bombers face the Turds. If the Bombers win they are the division champ (as they hold HTH over Catch). If Turds win they win the division with a loss by Catch (since Catch holds HTH tie breaker over Turds). Loser is out of the playoffs entirely for sure and for certain. Catch plays Sooms. If Catch loses they are also out of the playoffs. Bombers can capture the #2 seed with a win and a loss by Membrillos. Catch can capture the #2 seed with a win and losses by Bombers and Membrillos. Turds can only manage the #3 seed.
If Catch wins the division that means that Turds beat Bombers. In that case Turds would be 7-6 and would be compared outside the division for any available wild cards.
If Turds wins the division it means there are no other 7 win teams in the South.
If Bombers win the division and Catch wins its game then Catch would be 7-6 and compared for any available wild cards
So…..if NOJOQ wins and there is a wild card available he wins a wild card spot if Turds wins the South (because there would be no other 7-6 teams in the South) or very likely if Catch wins the South (because Turds would be the other team they’d be compared to and both NOJOQ and Turds hold HTH tie breakers over Polaq and Pimps). If Bombers win the South and Catch also wins…..Catch wins a 3 way tie with NOJOQ and Polaq currently by total points. Pimps wins a 3 way tie with Catch and NOJOQ currently by total points.
If NOJOQ loses……then there can only be 2 team comparisons out of division. Polaq beats Catch HTH. Pimps beat Catch HTH. Turds beats Polaq HTH. Turds beats Pimps HTH.
If Catch loses…….then there can only be 2 team comparisons out of division. NOJOQ beats Polaq HTH. NOJOQ beats Pimps HTH.
If NOJOQ and Catch lose the entire West division is in the playoffs regardless of their week 13 outcomes.
NOJOQ can be as high as the 5 seed and as low as the 9 seed.
Catch can be as high as the 2 seed and as low as the 9 seed.
Turds can be as high as the 3 seed and as low as the 9 seed.
Bombers can be as high as the 2 seed and as low as the 9 seed.
Pimps can be as high as the 4 seed and as low as the 7 seed.
Polaq can be as high as the 1 seed and as low as the 7 seed.
Membrillos can be as high as the 1 seed and as low as the 3 seed.
Qonies can be as high as the 1 seed and as low as the 6 seed (I believe I reported that incorrectly as a bottom of 5 seed last time)
MDW can be as high as the 1 seed and as low as the 6 seed
That’s how everybody gets in and a basic listing of possible seeding. With only 1 week left…..that’s some crazy shit. Feel free to check my work.
Shades