Week 1 #QFL Movers & Shakers

Here is where I feel obliged to mention that Hans is one of only two teams never to have won the Quince Bowl. Will this finally be the year?!! BAAAAHHHHH………. No. It won’t.

#2 TENACIOUS Q 104.68
Two innocent procedural mistakes later and TenQ found himself at the center of a vast conspiracy that went straight to the top of QFL Nation a few weeks ago. Yada yada yada under the extraordinary threat of exponential fines and docking of wins, TenQ was obliged to trade a prized young RB for a crappy backup defense!! An outrageous outcome over a couple of simple mistakes to say the least. The entire unnecessary witch hunt was no doubt driven by jealousy, after all, TenQ has appeared in all of the last three Quince Bowls, winning twice. If success breeds haters, there will be a target on this team’s back for years to come.

#3 QUINTORRIS JONES 99.73
Under regular QFL rules QJ would be in 4th place but its too early in the season to be bothered with proper seeding.

Shades runs the other franchise never to have won a Quince Bowl (Josh doesn’t count). Out of the two I think Shades has the better shot this year. He is only 10 points behind Hans and left a lot more points on the bench (Vick and Colston).

How was Marlon Brown not on any QBallers rankings?

#4 DETROIT ROQ CITY 88.98
Josh showed up at the Auction with $10 in cap space and proceeded to sink $5 into Harvin. What kind of strategy is that?

Josh is no threat to win a first Quince Bowl for this franchise’s current management.

#5 ORIGINAL QUINCELER 84.42
Unofficially elected Commissioner “Royal-Pain” Rishi enforces the rules willy nilly. Most of the time he can’t be bothered with “rules”, unless its to play games with TenQ. Then, of course, he will pull out all the stops no matter how poor the policy precedent will be for future generations of QFLers. The latest selective application of the rules against Seth and no one else occured in the first week of free agency when TenQ mistakenly placed a conditional bid and was fined heavily for it (among other repercussions). Meanwhile at least one other team got away with placing the same type of bid in the same round of free agency without Rishi “noticing”. More likely this team just bribed the “Commissioner”.

Someone please place a waiver claim for Marqise Lee tonight. Please.

#6 QTANG CLAN 84.24
Benny is down to one RB if David Wilson spends anytime in Coughlin’s doghouse (good thing the other RB is AP). Combined with losing Amendola for at least a game and usually a team would be in panic mode in this situation, but fortunately Benny outbid Seth for Jared Cook.

#7 STORMTROOPERS OF QUINCE 87.96
I will not hold a grudge against Scott for what he did to me in the first round of free agency (Rishi yes, but not Scott). If presented with the same gimme opportunity I would have done the same thing. Who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to drive up fines on a fellow contender? But to pretend it wasn’t your intention all along to snag those two crappy defenses just to screw over TenQ is ridiculous. They have favorable playoff schedules? Give me a break!

#8 QUINCING BY COMMITTEE 84.25
The great WR squeeze of the 2013 Auction yielded QBC a $21 Mike Wallace. Nice pikup Qs!

Is something wrong with my eyes or has QBC been active in free agency the last two weeks? What is going on here? They grabbed Quinton Patton too! Don’t tell me they finally subscribed to Guru Report.

#9 QUEEF 76.6
Great QBs and DEFs but nothing in the middle. Randle and Crabtree ought to be nice farm system keepers. Appears to be in rebuild mode but teams have made the playoffs in much worse looking shape.

#10 A TRIBE CALLED QUINCE 73.39
A nightmare season already made worse by management in panic mode. The decision to let go of Fitzgerald instead of Roddy White (now revealed to be more significantly injured than widely known at the time of the Auction) will haunt the team all year. Not only that but “the best stable of RBs [he’s] ever had” boasted 9 points combined week 1. And nice trade for Decker, the #15 pick turned out to be Kenbrell Thompkins. Team in free fall.

#11 FREDNEQ 58.45
The all Redskins starting lineup backfired this week, but next week if you leave McFadden, Hartline, Finley and/or Vincent Jackson on your bench, I’m sure it will work out better.

#12 FAHQ 45.08
Week 1 starters cost $86. Rishi, that’s 86% of his total salary! There’s no depth here and no room for error. Was the megaton trade a mistake?